Spread Your Wings and Fly Boy

Grandma Paige, Harfi, and Daniel at a Sunatan Pesta (Party after Circumcision)

Yesterday we attended a typical Indonesian party. We had already been to many parties before but this one was different. Back in training when we first arrived in Indonesia, Daniel lived with a great host family in Tlekung. He had 2 brothers, one a young man, one still a boy. Yesterday was the day that the little boy became a man.

           

The party I speak of is none other than a circumcision party (potong burung or cutting of the bird). Being from America where the majority of families nip that little thing at birth, it’s weird to have a party where everyone is openly talking about a private part of the body.

Ibu making a local sanck

Because Daniel had lived with them previously, we still assume ourselves family so we were thrilled to go back to Tlekung to catch up and support Harfi (the man child) on his new adventure. What we didn’t expect was to be invited to actually watch the snip-snip go down. But being considered Suadara in a culture that loves to share, the family asked that we attend. So at 6 am, a group of close male relatives, Bart (another volunteer), Daniel, and the only girl, Paige went to the local Puskesmas (local general doctors office) for the procedure. Up until then, Harfi had kept his cool surprisingly well. Either the culture talks up this “turning into a man thing” as a big privilege, or Harfi was just good at not showing his fear, I don’t know. But it wasn’t until he actually was being brought into the doctor’s room that he was clearly worried.

           

The doctor, who looked like a normal guy, in flip flops, and semi-casual wear laid Harfi out, lifted up his Sarong (male skirt) and got started. We were told that years before, the process was using basically a long knife and no meds, and blood was… well, there was a lot of it, but today things were a lot more civilized. Harfi was given general anesthetic, which still was extremely uncomfortable to watch. Harfi didn’t like it for sure.

           

Anyway, without too much detail, there we were, in the office, Harfi’s legs spread and lots of photos and videos being taken. There was no shame, or embarrassment and we got much closer than I would have ever imagined. After the numbing, the clamps and laser came out, (Yikes) the doctor calmly walked the leftover skin to the trash between Daniel and I. Weird… Did I mention no gloves were used in the process?

           

Harfi was sewn up, given some more pain pills and we were on our way. The whole thing took about 25 minutes. The rest of the day was all the Ibu-Ibu (mom’s) cooking the never-ending amounts of food and snacks, Harfi’s mom and dad greeting guests as they came to say their congratulations, and Hafri sitting on his “Man thrown” for everyone to see. Paige was roped into putting on the traditional Jawanese make-up and hair. People said she was beautiful, but honestly she looked like a 60 year old with perfectly quaffed football helmet hair. Oh and Harfi had a snack basket tied around his waist to protect his clipped bird.

It is evident how important these parties are for the family and culture, due to the amount of money spent to host thousands of guests. The young boy has a chance to publicly show he is becoming a man even if that includes limping around in pain. Daniel says, “Thank God I was only a baby when this happened to me!”

Typical Party tent set up in front of the family's house.